The Color Purple

by Christina Kelly

The note went out to the members,
It was time for a simple upgrade--
The paddle courts needed painting
But a color choice had to be made.

The shade of purple was proposed
For it was endorsed by the APTA,
It would make the line calls easier,
So the game would be more fun to play.

The opinions poured in from far and wide,
Each day the suspense mounted,
The curious color wasn't the issue,
But 'twas the shade of purple that counted.

Who knew there'd be such an outcry?
Each member had a vision so clear,
So tongue-and-cheek as this is,
Some responses are collected here:

A simple purple won't work,
Try lavender instead,
But that won't do, unless it's light
You know my hair is red!

My improbable peanut butter diet
Has made me the athlete I am,
So can't you somehow duplicate
The color of Welch's grape jam?

Yes, of course, the decks need paint,
I approve it without delay,
But please be sure it's quite refined,
Like an exquisite French beaujolais.

I hate to commit to just one shade,
I'm better with a Yes/No ballot,
But my colorist has warned me time and again
That plum is not in my palette.

Purple will clash with all my sweats
You've got to show compassion.
It's great that we can see the lines,
But what will it do to fashion?

Whether it's orchid, mauve, lilac,
Or purple simple and plain.
They say the lines will be easy to see,
But what happens in a purple rain?

The comments ran on until the paint dried,
About the unusual hue,
And much to everyone's delight
It's really just a dark reddish blue.