Present Perfect

by Christina Kelly

'Twas the morning of Christmas
And throughout the house
The excitement was palpable
For my golf-obsessed spouse.

Each year he gets gifts
That are always the same--
Like a set of new clubs
To help his short game.

But this year he'd see
How Santa really thinks...
No more time in the traps,
No more hitting the links.

My husband opened each box,
Placing the presents in a pile,
This must be a hint,
He said with a smile.

No books by Tiger?
Or photos of Snead?
No sand rake or putter?
No 'Zen Golf' to read?

No range balls? he asked,
A twinkle in his eye.
No cart? No lessons?
Not even a golf tie?

There was Gatorade and grip tape
And a sweatsuit in black,
A deluxe arm brace
And a paddle backpack.

A case of new balls,
A good wind jacket,
And finally he unwrapped
His new Viking racket.

Happy 2008!
He cried without remorse,
Guess it's hello to the courts
And goodbye to the course!