Emily Speaks Out on "The Blamer in the Hut"

Emily-NetPost-150September 2014

Dear Emily NetPost:

We have a person in our club who more often than not after a lost match comes into the hut and quietly tries to engage one or two of us in a conversation in which inevitably she blames her partner for the loss. How do we tactfully handle this otherwise lovely and fun teammate?

Sportsmanship Sally

Dear Sportsmanship:

It is a wonder Miss Lovely and Fun can find a partner with the behavior she is exemplifying. "Lady Atlas" appears to be holding up not only the deuce side of the court, but the ad side, the net, the screens, and the hut itself for that matter.

Sister Strong Shoulders has committed no unforgivable sin, but merely forgotten some of the things the rest of us learned in Kindergarten.

     When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

But little help this gives you when she approaches the cooler. You have a few choices when the blaming begins, one of which is to walk to the loo as fast as possible. While there, look in the mirror and vow like Scarlett O’Hara on war-ravaged Tara, “As God is my witness, I’ll never be her partner again!” This will feel great, but does nothing to make for a full hut or a fun team, and as you say Lady Atlas is otherwise an enjoyable and kind teammate.

Actions speak louder than words and Miss NetPost likes to lead by example. Make a point to be complimentary of your own partner in front of her, compliment the partner she’s putting down, or talk (at a different time but in a group where Lady A is) about how much you enjoy some other person who is a great team player, always complimentary of her partner, never casting blame after a match, even in cases where her partner played badly. All of these will help to build  team morale, and perhaps shake Lady Atlas down to a mere mortals’ level of earthly imperfections.

With kind and virtuous regards,
Emily NetPost

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